Annunciation
by Marie Howe
Even if I don't see it again -- nor ever feel it
I know it is -- and that if once it hailed me
it ever does--
And so it is myself I want to turn in that direction
not as toward a place, but it was a tilting
within myself,
as one turns a mirror to flash the light to where
it isn't -- I was blinded like that -- and swam
in what shone at me
only able to endure it by being no one and so
specifically myself I thought I'd die
from being loved like that.
I know it is -- and that if once it hailed me
it ever does--
And so it is myself I want to turn in that direction
not as toward a place, but it was a tilting
within myself,
as one turns a mirror to flash the light to where
it isn't -- I was blinded like that -- and swam
in what shone at me
only able to endure it by being no one and so
specifically myself I thought I'd die
from being loved like that.
I’ve been meditating on this poem for 3 years now. In some ways, I think it addresses the essence of my Christian theology.
The annunciation and virgin birth narrative have always been a source of confusion for me. For years, I felt as if it may have only been rooted in puritanical priorities or prophetic tradition - i.e, the Hebrew Scriptures said the Messiah’s birth would happen this way, so that ended up being the story. I never understood why it mattered that Christ was born of a virgin woman or not. Was the tradition trying to merely hold on to some idea of purity?
My faith journey has always felt like a process of falling in love rather than a search for answers to complicated questions like these. I am not incredibly interested in debating the existence of God or the claim that Christ is God. To be honest, I become uncomfortable when anyone assumes they have it all figured out. As strange as it might sound, I don’t actually think I am 'right.' I don’t think possessing certainty brings us closer to God.
With that being said, this week I realized that Marie Howe’s poem is the explanation I have been looking for regarding the importance of the virgin birth narrative. Specifically the last stanza,
“only able to endure it by being no one and so
specifically myself I thought I'd die
from being loved like that.”
specifically myself I thought I'd die
from being loved like that.”
I realized this week that we are all Mary. Christ being born from a seemingly ordinary woman perfectly represents God's promise to all of us; The promise that no matter how lowly we are made to feel in this world, God sees us as no less worthy than to enter into us and bring about the Son of God. No matter the lack of worldly power, money, or fame we possess, God sees us as worthy enough to live inside of us.
To understand the depth of this promise, I think it may be helpful to understand a bit about the “historical Mary’s” background. Mary lived in Nazareth, a place in the Gospel according to John where it is asked, “Can anything good come from that town?” Think of the city around where you live, where people openly mock the level of poverty and lack of resources; That is where the mother of the Son of God lived. It is doubtful that Mary knew how to read or write, and the idyllic images of the holy family living in a cozy little cabin are almost certainly false. Mary and Joseph most likely lived in an overcrowded multi-family housing unit. Furthermore, Mary became a displaced migrant when her family fled to Egypt to escape a tyrant.
Mary was not what this world considers to be worthy; She was poor, lacked education, and was a refugee. Nonetheless, God chose her to bring Christ into this world. Through Mary, we can trust that no matter our social position in this world, our God promises to know us and to love us. By knowing the story of Mary, we can trust that God says, “You are mine & you are worthy.”